With America being so under attack by made up forces and 24 hour news station talking heads, it's time that we all unite as countrymen and patriots and focus on the real enemy -- Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde. For a re-enactment of their various attacks on the American way of life, we bring you live footage from this movie theater:
Who would help lead us against this 4 colored menace? So many heroes come and go in the span of our existence, but there's only one man who has been to the other side and knows the weakness of these masterminds of terror. That brave American is none other than the Chairman of the Board, La Park. What? He's Mexican? Crap...
One of the most valued commodities during any war on pixelated ghosts is downtime. Some nice R'n'R. What better way for our men in yellow sphere costumes to relax than with the tantalizing thought of females, in lingerie, playing the American sport of Football? Why, that sounds almost too sexy to be entertaining! Thankfully, the Lingerie Football League has taken precautions to remove any entertainment and/or sexiness from their sport for you:
So it looks like our war on ghosts isn't going very well. We've tried a Lucha Libre wrestler with a chair. We've tried forcing dancers, models, and strippers to slam into each other at full speed while wearing booty shorts with bows. We're all out of ideas. Just who are we gonna call?
That should do it! Mission Accomplished, fellas!
